Thursday, March 12, 2009

How Low Can You Go?

- Except for that victim thing, I'm all for creative crime. You can't help but admire the level of risk taking, the gravitas, the occasional genius of some of these criminals. And if you believe you could never be desperate or hungry enough to turn to crime - I bet you could - let's hope we never find out.
- D.B. Cooper lives! But not here. In our state capital this week, thugs threatened and grabbed cash from... girl scouts. Not kidding. Cute cookie sellers. OK, I realize the cash is there, some of those little samoa hawkers are cut-throat business women working for a huge multinational corporation, security is usually sparse, and the idea would not have occurred to people thinking in the box, but...
- There's no road out of Juneau. Somehow, screeching away in your getaway car only to stop at the dock awaiting the ferry; let's just say some of the magic is gone. Also, Juneau is a small town. Somebody will know you, and in a town filled with politicians wishing to distract the populace from legislative crimes of their own, you'll be pillioned in public display. Also, it's Alaska, so you'd better check that nobody at the table is displaying a marksmanship merit badge before you pull a weapon. Kids here can draw and hit a rolling thin mint at forty paces.
- I'm working the night shift and I'm picturing two balding pot-bellied detectives on a sting operation, dressed as girl scouts, the disgusted Walmart greeter looking on....
- Pillion doesn't mean anything near what it sounds like it should. It's not even a verb! Time to change that.

1 comment:

kkryno said...

Something about old,bald detectives in brownie uniforms is just wrong-funny-but-wrong! ;)