Action in IHOP

-  5a.m.
-  IHOP near a military base.
-  "Good morning sergeant-major", as the last seat is taken at a table full of camo clad soldiers planning a day of training.
-  Two elderly gentleman meeting for almost silent breakfast, like they do every morning.
-  Two young men in civilian dress, but clean shaven heads and hangover eyes.
-  Two gumpopping waitresses loudly discussing their boyfriends. 
-  A very young couple walks to the register.  He's in fat pants, sheer t-shirt and sideways hat. She's in heels, tight jeans, and cut frilly blouse.  She knows she'll be watched, so she puts on a show.  Everything that can bounce and jiggle does. 
-  The breath audibly leaves the hangover boys. 
-  A forkful of waffle stops midway to a mouth at the geriatric table.  The conversation stops, though, for only a few seconds.
-  Training of he US military is temporarily on hold.
-  Waitresses roll their eyes.
-  Boyfriend is oblivious as girl looks back and smiles big.  She takes her boyfriend's arm and struts out.
-  My partner says "Clank", and I say "Ow."

Some are concerned there is debauchery here.  Nope.  Just nature.  Some are concerned that men see women only as sexual objects.  Nope.  Very sexual beings, and so much more.  Some would say something evil happened here.  Guess I missed that part.

I'm allowed to notice, just not to stare.  She says she'd worry more if I DIDN'T notice.  I tell her it probably wouldn't matter if she worried, I'd probably still notice, but I'll try to not over-notice.  She used to say she knows where I sleep, and she'll make me get down the heavy old cast iron pan so she can clank me with it.  Now we're older and that sounds like more work than it's worth, so she just says "Clank", and I say "Ow", and we get the gist if not the lump.  It's a pretty good arrangement, but it's still in my best interest not to notice to excess.