Saturday, June 22, 2013

Quit Drinking

       Congratulations to me. I quit drinking last night. I fully expect to quit tonight as well. It's been so dry, a beer is pretty darn tasty at the end of the day, but more than one seems weighty. Tough to justify the calorie math for even one, though. I'll just have to cut back on food that's not beer.

       My Alaska thoughts of the week: Folks wishing to partake in after-dark activities this weekend may have to wait a month. - Lots of folks are taking advantage of the abnormal amount of sunshine, exposing lots of skin as if it were California. Interesting mix of milky, burned, and bug bit, but hey. - We had another bear mauling. A genius got drunk at a church picnic and threw meat at a bear. We're not sure whether he threw the meat in self defense or just to taunt, but it didn't turn out well, except maybe for the boozy church, whose congregation is likely to triple. - I woke to a buzzing near my ear, and, in that half sleep phase where our minds are most creative, I invented a room laser that patrolled the ceiling of sleeping rooms, and a net that swept living spaces when no one was there. I considered training terriers to snap up the pests, and vaccuums that target movement. Just before I drifted off, the idea came for robotic hands that operate like the "Clapper", a light switch that operates remotely by clapping your hands, but MY clapper hands would track and destroy skeeters. I woke with a bite on my foot AND a mosquito carcass on the top sheet. Call CSI.

My work joke of the week: Only an engineer would call a horse spherical to make the math easier.

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