This Dog Will Hunt

Dear carrier of the Daily Times:

I can't tell you how impressed we are with the service you provide. When you first took the route, and began laying the paper at our door, I wondered how long the phase might last, but my doubts were unfounded. You never fail to trek up the steep icy driveway, turn onto the concrete steps, across the porch, and set the paper right next to the storm door in any weather. Quite honorable in our era, but I have a special request: DON'T DO THAT!
You see, we have a dog who feels that his job, looking after a boring older couple, is threatened. The look of disappointment when he's denied the opportunity to search for the paper is heart rending. You may have noticed that he has begun a pattern of threatening growling when you arrive every morning at three, hoping, I believe, for you to give him some room to roam and credit for a job well done, sniffing out his hidden prize as left by the last deliverer of the bad news.
So, if you don't mind, just toss the paper way out there in a drift by the street on your way by. We'll never complain, even if it's not found 'til spring, because we have an online subscription and mostly use the paper to line the parrot cage anyway. I'll sleep a lot better knowing your route is safer and more efficient, and Benson will start to feel better about himself too. Thanks!