Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Dear Nora: Compromise

Dear Nora:
       I assume you are feeling pretty good about yourself.  You should be.  Things are going pretty much your way.  You raise your voice, folks don't ask, they jump.  They are quick learners.
       So, rock star, I'm glad you are the confident ruler of your world.  But, as you are probably becoming aware, the world at large is large indeed (It'll seem small later), and controlling the chaos there has proved exceedingly difficult for the generations that came before you.  Without a doubt, you have skills, but I'm going to suggest a couple of compromises that may help you avoid un-winnable battles others have fought.
       Language:  You may already be experiencing problems with English.  We all struggle with it.  There are other lingos, but few are much better, and NONE could match the fluid beauty and structure of the language you will develop on your own over the next year or so.  That's a given.  The sad conundrum though, is that change is difficult for people older than you, and convincing the greater world to adapt to your obviously improved tongue is a task of monumental proportion.  Some very talented folks have tried, some dedicating their entire lives to the task, to minuscule effect.  Then you have those, some in your own extended family, who spread and teach English dogma, and might resist your well intended efforts to improve it.  Your talent and the internet might be the force that changes the world, but I'd suggest that unless this is the purpose to which you are called to the exclusion of all else, give it up,  just enjoy sounds and words, and become expert in the languages that surround you.  But don't ever buy into the idea that language is static.  It is constantly evolving, to the point I can't understand folks your parent's age half the time.  So play with it. You can only make it better.  I don't even want to talk about spelling.
       Pooping:  It's an unintended but necessary consequence of eating.  Both are natural, positive functions, and distinctly satisfying.  Some time past, as our culture became more "civilized",  people started telling other people what to eat and where to poop, even attaching taboos and guilt, which has messed up many a mind for life, I'll tell you.  Don't ever buy into that c$@p.
       At some point, a hineywrap fad started, where some very good salesman convinced folks it was better to capture kid's poop against their skin to avoid scooping piles.  Bad call.  Kids protested, and now cream tube wielding parents chase unhappy kids around day and night, fighting the dual battles of diaper rash and only partially filled landfills.  Eventually, parents wear down, and start reading wistfully about toilet training.  When your time comes, use the pot. It's not as scary as it looks, and I'm not aware of one person who hasn't come around to it sooner or later in one form or another.  That's one convention history seems to have gotten right.  I enjoy mine.
       I hope my tips prove useful.  Feel free to use or discard them according to what makes sense.  I'll keep tossing my opinions out there.  You do the same.  K

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